What I know about LOVE

There are few things that I believe in love.

I watched television, movies, and experienced it myself. Honesty is very important to stick on the relationship. However, if I’m a badass and I’m honest, the relationship will be, well, bad. So what should I follow next?

It is not as easy as ABC. Responsibility is like doing everything with a conference meeting in your head first, and then you execute it. Imagine every single move I make consist of landmines, and only one is the ones without landmines. So what should I do to avoid deciding what to do all the time incase I turned crazy?

It is like a coded-chip plant in your head. Commitment is not like signing a contract with black and white papers. It is like carving the Ten Commandments on to your heart, literally. You can’t live without your heart, that doesn’t mean doing the same things forever, like a timetable in school. So how to spice things up before I and her gets bored?

Getting a robot to talk charmingly is like asking a pig to lay eggs. To some, charm is like born, but to others like me, I have to train myself to be creative and communication skills as good as Hitler. So I got the skills in talking, but her cooks are bad, what should I do?

I can’t do anything; in fact, I must learn to love her cooks. Appetite is very important. Now I know why my father and most married men are fat, because they have achieved this stage.

After gaining so much weight, I must unleash these fats to somewhere. Sex. There are reasons why the women cook most nutritious and easily fattening food. To stop us peacocking other females and wants us. Yes, wants us.

So sex is a dirty thing for some people and psychological view, people may ought to think that it’s a bad behavior and it is so called sexual addiction. I need something to back myself up. I need a religion.

To some may think that religion is crap. But to me, if I don’t believe in what my partner believes in, the relationship is screwed. Imagine, my wife goes to Indian temple at night and I have to go to church every morning, I can’t either have night sex, nor my wife has morning sex. So everything is related.

There, my 7 tips in love. 


ponnie said...

This is more emo than my post!

Jeremy Yong said...

huh? this suppose to be funny lah. =.=

FISH said...

Compromise. If u need to take all the food she cooks, then she gotta take all ur fat sperms la~ Unless she improve her cooking, u mai provide her healthy sex-life la~

This is what i think, golden rule: Do unto others what u would others do unto u..lolxxx~

Apple said...

Fish: lol, media ethics to be applied in personal life. -___-
Jerms: if morning and nite sex cannot hav, there is always afternoon sex. Hahahhaa

Jeremy Yong said...

Fish: I can write a philosophy if i want... just that tired to write what is right. :)

Apple: Hmm... You're right! But then again, both are tired for morning, and preparing night. :(