Grey World

Nowadays a lot of complicated things running through my life, sometimes I just feel like going back the old me and start drive like a mad man and drink like a retard. 

Sometimes what I think is right, may not be right. What others think is wrong, may not be wrong after all. I believe, my life stays in a grey zone. No definite dark and no definite light. 

Last night I was going to pay my parking ticket in a mall while the line was very long, I noticed a lady along with her two children are outside the line looking at people in the queue. 

At first I thought she waiting for someone in the line to pay the parking ticket, but she prove me wrong. A Malay man front of me was paying the ticket and the lady suddenly walks up to him and asked if he could help her to pay for hers, bringing her children along asking for mercy. The man rejects and smiled at her and 
walked off.  

The next was me, I walk to the machine and eventually I am the next victim she asked. “Sir, can you help me? My children are very tired as it is very late, can you help me?” I looked at her, “Sorry, it would be very unfair to the people behind me.” I smiled and walked off after retrieving my ticket from the machine. While my head was telling her, “How about I pay for the people behind me along? All of them are like you, tired and wanting to go home to rest.” 

I may sound selfish. But if I pay for her, people behind me, who stand on the queue for 30 minutes just like me, complaining in the head why is the line so long? And I pay for the lady because her children needs to sleep and tomorrow is a holiday anyway. I may be cursed by this lady, but I will not be cursed by the people behind who are waiting their turn. 

My condition of helping her is, she is pregnant, she is fairly old or she is handicap.  

I hope He understands my decision.


The Dogs and Liquors

Arrived at my granduncle's house in the afternoon. Saw these four fierce but cute dogs from the neighbours barking at us!
My uncle (granduncle's son) has this weird idea which he would put this sign "Dog Farm" to scare off the thieves and robbers. Hmm, I don't know if it works, but it's cool! XD
Tada! My granduncle's collection. There're so many liquors in this cabinet that I couldn't take my eyes off! So cool!
The picture displayed here is the 30 or maybe 40 years ago Martell's Cordon Bleu. YES!! CORDON BLEU with the weird packaging!
These are are the mini dunno-what-liquor-but-it-must-be-rare-ones. lol


Silent is Golden

If I can turn back the time, I just hope that I can change the past and shut my mouth.
They say the tongue is mightier than the sword.
If I can just keep quite and never say what I wanted to say, maybe things would not have turn this bad.
I failed for craving love again. 

Because of this failure, I will stand up again, and spread more love.
Rather than asking people for acceptance and pity.
I must stay firm!


Spread the Love In Chinese New Year

So what did I do these days besides Facebook-ing and working?
Again, as I mentioned in Facebook, I was inspired by a person who tagged me in a note on spreading the love to random people in the CNY.

So discussed with my father and he agreed, as well as my mom.
I start off  with a small card and asked my mom if she can make cloth roses to pair up with the card.
So we decided to make 100 sets of Valentine's card and flower for the lonely ones.
Soon however, my dad happens to talk about this to the pastor, she was TOTALLY agreed. She even decided to contribute some money to make as Ang Pows (Red packets with money) to the people who needs more than us.
Slowly after time, 4 persons and a team contributed RM550.00 for the Ang Pow. While we made 20 sets for pastor as she wants to spread the love to her hometown's hospital.
While my cousin willing to contribute 3 boxes of oranges! :)
Anyway, so we rushed 80 sets and tada! Done! Thanks to my last minute attitude, I slept at 1AM... Even though I have to be awake at 8AM the next day for church (which is CNY 1st day)!!
Woke up in the morning, packed all the things and ready for the go!
1st stop! Listen to God's words!
After the Sunday service, we picked up one of the sister in church who willing to tag along in this trip.
And so before we start off, we have to ss (syok sendiri aka cam whore) abit lah~
Then we set off!
I didn't take any pictures as a respect to the people in the hospital. SO I'll just brief what happened.
We reached there, and the elevator was packed with people while we're holding all the gifts.
An Indian lady came and asked if these are for sale, we told her our mission and w gave her one set.
We are confused and do not know which ward to start off.
Suddenly, a security guard came and she brought us to another elevator which not much people knows.
In the lift, we wanted to give her gift, but not sure if she's a Muslim (as we have some Bible verse in some flowers for non-Muslims and some with non-Bible verse for Muslims)
She held her necklace, and says she's a Christian, a widow, with three children and have heart defects.

She told us, she prayed this morning hoping there's someone to give her RM10 for her meal today.
Before she mentioned RM10, we have given her 2 packets of Ang Pows (RM5 each).
I was so touched by God's grace.
Then she shared that due she isn't a Malaysian, she cannot ask for government's help, for her heart operation.
We prayed for her. And I was touched.
In this morning before started this trip, I got the feeling of bringing RM100 which was given by my cousin.
And here, I gave her the money that I believe she needs more than me.

The whole trip was she who guided us.
In the wards, few patients left tears. Some brought smiles.
Some we prayed for, some held our hands tight.

I remember one old lady who could not speak nor hear.
She held my mom's hand and mine tight, while her eyes were so wide.
My heartaches, don't know what I can do to ease her pain.
Her legs as if have no meat.

I was so touched in this trip that God is so real.
I will pray for Christina, the widow for her financial, and those in the wards.
Plus continue to spread God's grace.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Happy Chinese New Year!! XD


Stop Craves for Love, Start Spread the Love

Woke up in the morning 6AM, drive to Kelana Jaya and eat my breakfast while waiting for fellow interns.
Depart at 8:15AM and start working at 8:30AM.
Break at 12PM to 2PM and end my day at 5PM.
Back home about 6PM and sleep the whole night. (Skipped my dinner most of the time)
This is my routine every Mon, Tues, Thurs and Friday.
Every Wednesday will be travelling down to PJ at 4:30PM and pick my dad.
Goes to Bible College of Malaysia with him and have our night class. 
Yes, for those who don't, can't or will never imagine I'm studying Bible, The book of Acts. I AM!!
My mission now is to prepare flowers and cards for the lonely hearts spending their time in hospitals.
I realize how selfish I was/am expecting love and care from others instead of giving those who really needs it.
My quote for 2010, “Stop Craves for Love, Start Spread the Love.”


Thought of De Day

Have been browsing a lot of instrumental music lately; 
this music inspired me and lets me think back the days before year 2010. 

What is love? 
What is trust? 
What is friendship? 
What is family? 
Some say observing is the best way to learn mistakes through people.

But I say that making a scene your own is very different than observing or hearing.

The hardship, the sweats and tears through my relationship years shows me that I am not that clever after all. 
The naive, see and believe and act before think shows me 
that my life is not as portrait in movies. 
The need in hand, comforts when I am down, 
and trouble I faced shows me that friend are more than important.

The overall transformation and realization in life shows how important is the family in my life.

All these scenes I've been through is hard to be describe in words. 
And I am glad I have experienced all these. 
There's more to come in front of me, and I hope these stories can be told 
to my children, and children's children.