Been numbers of people told me that my heartbeats very fast. It's not that I am nervous or anything, but I guess I'm born this way.
Probably my unhealthy lifestyle that contributes such problem. Is it a problem? I don't know, perhaps about 10 years from now I can see the result of eating a lot of fast food, soft drinks, and smoke.
Told myself I'll quit smoking until I collected all the types of cigarettes box but I doubted so. Been warned not to smoke a lot of times but I just can't help it. Perhaps this is the attention I could get from others, to smoke so that people would notice me? I don't know. But I really believe most smokers are influenced because of the fact that they wanted attention, then smoke, then they fucked their life so bad that they ended up something that makes them feel a little bit 'higher' which is drug.
15 years ago today I told myself I will not smoke because of drinking remains of the cigarette from a can of coke while my dad was still a smoker. Then again, trying to be nice and share half of the cigarette box to reduce others burden caused me to be one of the smokers. I don't hate myself from doing it. Just the fact that my parents are so devoted with church that makes me so guilty if I even think about smoking. Sigh.
I'm trying! Just gimme another puff and let me think about it. LOL